I suppose the most compelling news would be that I finally got my deity reading results! The reader took a lot longer than anticipated to send my results due to technical difficulties, but I am very glad to see that they are finally here!
The reader had told me that the two deities connecting to me are The Morrigan and Freyja! I was quite surprised to hear that they are my two most prominent deities. I was expecting Artemis to be one of mine since I had felt strongly connected to her since my childhood. However, after being given more information about The Morrigan and Freyja, everything makes so much sense! I believe I will be making a separate section dedicated to my spiritual journey with witchraft, but I would still like to ramble a bit about the accuracy of my readings!
The Morrigan was revealed to me first so I would like to start with her. While I was researching the different signs and symbols I had taken note of, I came across The Morrigan, an Irish Goddess who often takes the form of a crow and is heavily symbolized by them. I skimmed over several pages about her and did not think that she was the most fitting for me. Based on that assumption alone, I gave up on researching her. I am pleasantly surprised to see that I was wrong, given the fact that crows have become so significant to me.
Crows and ravens have been by far the most prominent signs I have received. In fact, I feel tremendously close to them. As I believe I had mentioned before, my father and I love to feed the crows in our neighborhood. We love leave leftovers or other undesirable scraps of food out on the fountain for them to eat! My dad and I love to watch them gather around the fountain and eat up all of the scraps. As I said in a previous entry, I also had a very vivid dream about crows. Looking back at the dream and their general importance to me, I can easily believe that they are signs of The Morrigan.
The Morrigan has also been described as a goddess who works with trauma, death, and protection. She is also claimed to act as a "stern, firm, but loving mother" once you get to know her. I am obviously not the most familiar with witchcraft, but I am very excited to get to know her and potentially work with her. I especially love The Morrigan's motherly aspect as I am somebody who does not have a biological mother anymore. I guess I could say that it is something I might find comforting about her.
Now onto the other goddess, Freyja. I was actually extremely shocked when I saw that she was one of my deities. While I was still researching the possibilities, I had come across her. I thought for a second that she might be one of my deities as she is linked to cats (an animal I have felt particularly strongly connected to lately), but I shook it off after reading that she is a symbol of sex, fertility, and romance-all things that either seem so far out of my reach or repulse me to even consider. However, once the reader went on to inform me about her, everything clicked into place.
According to the reader I had consulted, Freyja teaches witchcraft, divination, female independence, and also serves as a motherly protector (again, a quality I really like). I love the fact that she teaches witchcraft because, each time I have tried to delve into it, I have never really known where to start or how to go about it. I think that Freyja's presence is also a likely explanation for the connection I have felt to cats, spiders (I am a rare spider liker haha), falcons, and, yes, crows too.
Though I didn't receive Artemis on my reading, I still am heavily convinced that she is one of my deities. I have resonated and strongly connected to her since I was a little girl. I have always been drawn to her adoration for nature and the wilderness. Another trait that I have always deeply connected to is her chastity. According to lore, Artemis was an eternal virgin who fiercely defended her chastity. Aside from things a certain man did to me against my will, I have always wanted to hold onto my virginity. I have faced criticism, backlash, and abuse due to this, but it something I care very deeply about. It feels great being able to look up to and deeply relate to a deity in that regard.
As I said above, I really want to delve more into this and share more about my witchcraft and spirituality journeys, spells I learn, etc. in a separate area of my website! I am so excited for this!
That aside, I really need to quit being so toxic. I usually am not a bitch, but I have been lately. While my period has probably amplified it, I still really need to learn to take accountability and hold myself responsible. I really need to stop lashing out at others so much... even if my sister is genuinely one of the most annoying people ever and she's like the only person I lash out at or yell at. I also need to stop being so depressing around my friends and family. I often talk about how much I hate myself and how much I want to commit suicide. My dad and my friend have both told me that this behavior brings them down and is toxic. I agree with them, but I just can't help it. When I feel sad and overwhelmed, I feel like I need to tell somebody or I will burst. That's not an excuse for dumping it on my loved ones, of course. I might just make a more hidden area on this website where I can silently get my feelings off my chest without feeling like I am a horrible person. This is my virtual diary, after all.